Derby

The trip always starts with a simple phone call
Hi Tim, we're on our way, going to have a ball.
He asks who we like, what's the plan, how much for a drink
Don't know yet, booze and bets, about 8 bucks I think.

We arrive at the hotel, and all get checked in
And wonder if our dinner will include any twins.
Or preggos, since that seems to be our M.O.
Leave Hooters and hit up 4th Street like whoa.

Stumble home at 3 and try for some shut eye
Who pissed in my suitcase, oh yeah, that guy.
Fail to make waffles down in the lobby
Then head to the Church, our new favorite hobby.

Down some beers, crack some jokes and catch a ride
Dropped at the gate, where's our horse racing guide?
Infield bound, flush with cash, it's time to get down
Pick 6's, exactas, the first leg of the triple crown.

Wins offset losses, but not juleps of mint
Another race starts, to see a horse you must squint.
Ripped up tickets for the losers, garland roses for the winner
A long walk back to the car before a hearty KFC dinner.

Sun burned and drunk, we head back to the room
The NBA is on, some team's getting the broom.
Wake up early, survey the damage, always a slaughter
One last tradition, a stop at Wendy's in Coldwater.