Before there was Paris, or Lindsay or Heidi
Before Teen Mom and that trainwreck Britney
Before there was tape of Kim doing the deed
There was you, the original, Tara Reid.
Botched lipo and boob jobs
Your ego swelled and throbbed
From starring in Lebowski and Pie
To attending events with Tom Brady, black tie
But it didn't last, you fell hard
Now you can't even find a commercial to star
Memories of Taradise seem so long ago
You can't even get a guest spot on a friend's show
So you sit back and watch all your old party friends
And wish you were the one in front of the lens
You paved the way for sluttiness and greed
An original, the first, my favorite, Tara Reid.